Difference of living with shadow of love and shade of love

Martin Luther King, Jr.
The ultimate measure of a person is not where they stand in moments of comfort and convenience, but where they stand in times of challenge and controversy.

We experience variety of passions and feeling in the form of love , hate, friendship etc throughout our lives.These surly  acts as catalyst, dragging and  motivated forces in ones’ life  .Some act as bonding and few  are irresistible attractions which come from unplanned timing and unexpected  people in one’s life. So each individual regardless of his/her class or status before dying feels the variety of shadows and shades of love which helps to maintain his/her life or sometime become reason of losing hopes.In this way human behave differently , it is their inherent quality, upbringing, natural chemistry or inner demand that they behave differently for getting or presenting their expressions.


Some people enjoy living with shadows of love in which they can vary their line and length of  desires. Just because  of their own sphere of thoughts they plunge into state of  “in love” with someone, totally captivated by  any real or unreal , experiencing  many heavenly symptoms of love.It is strange phenomena that it doesn’t mean that the other person has the same feelings for them . They may have no feelings for their lover and chance  in fact, even dislike .So living with shadows of love  in a sense, an illusion, a mirage a complete one side imagination which is not bound of any limit  of nearness and dearness .

Too many nights, too many days
I’ve hidden from the sun
And though I’ve tried to break away
You hold a leash just too strong
I love you in the shadow of love

It is this because it is deceptive, delusional and transitory. While under its spell one sees only the good side, only what one wants to see. Once the spell is broken one sees reality in the clear light. Such kind of  Love living is a subtle, complex mixture of elusive ingredients that can  include

1. spiritual feelings on a high spiritual level

2. sexual attraction and personal desire

In many ways  such a shadowed  fantasy can have the same effect on a person as a drug, it is attractive, time-consuming and often a solitary experience. The time spent thinking of a fantasy person even lead to the release of certain chemicals in the brain which can cause a person to feel happy and euphoric. Once this has been achieved the fantasy is now associated with a distinct feeling of joy and will be sought often.

Another obvious problem with a fantasy obsession is that because it is such a solitary action it may cause a person to move away from real life and many  social situations. Conversations with real people may become increasingly difficult because in the real  world individual has to face the uneven attitude of near and dear ones too.The inability to accept another human being because their personality and appearance do not match that of a fantasy character is where this obsession often becomes truly dangerous. Some individuals become convince that the image in their mind does in fact exist somewhere and refuse to allow anyone else to get close to them because they feel it is unnecessary to lower their standards.The inability to relinquish self  control becomes part of such  fantasy obsession and such imaginary figures keep outside world  less appealing as the desire to maintain control over every part of the desired  interactions becomes more intense.

Not necessarily but perhaps the  harmful result of a fantasy obsession is the inability to enter into a successful real life relationship. When a person indulges too often with a fantasy mate they begin to use that  his mind made shadows as standard of living. As each new  arrivals fail  to  live up to this standard the fantasy is reinforced.Without the ability to know real love, the precious taste of this life is thwarted, and a person may be doomed to living her days as a  lunatic or maniac.

Some times shadows take a person toward heavenly figure ,keeping him/hers more about being compassionate and it has more of a philosophical dimension to it. People capable of feeling this type of love can love those who are not close to them since it bring out  more from compassion than passion.Here lovers give love without even expecting their feelings to be reciprocated by the recipient of their love.stock photo : FamilyOn the other hand no one can deny that  Being in love or  living under different shades of real love is the most mature and realistic thing  one can enjoy because

It energizes  one’s life, fills  positivityy, creates generosity and makes every moment worth. when one chooses to live in real shades of love it never look back the meaning of life and always try to approach near to his/her life full of care and love.Human enjoys different shades of real loves in form of good parenting, unconditional friendships and happy married life etc; such kind of shades of  love don’t  make person senseless or  blind, or entering into fantasy.  Such life style is  waking up out of darkened  side of life  to enjoy the beauty which surrounds him as first protection in this world.

Oh sure for adjusting all love affairs in smooth and aligned manners a   little endurance is required, along with the willingness to accept the  changing shadows that would change as soon as light of revelation would fall on relationships and its demands.

The difference between real and counterfeit love is  that in real situation we try to approach to live a life of love and build relationships. In this process ups and downs give different bumps of life making that relation more solid and versatile. .

In such kind of living  emotional and  romantic expectations  are more realistic,long-lasting  and practical so their relationships generally do not fail.In such option persons don’t go for search  of compatibility but try to adjust each other incompatible traits and try to bring each other match and catch  for making smooth equation of life .Such kind of relationships grow gradually and with a slow pace of emotions

Toward its disadvantageous some persons want to store these shades of love , for some kind of insecurity in their minds and sooner their passion tend to  possessiveness .This  type of love is characterized by a lack of passion and  becomes conditional.

In all love matters one’s  words should match with deeds. By giving each other the necessary space and time in order to overcome the initial setbacks and resentment which do come in path of partnerships we fill the gap between human temperaments.Honesty, caring attitude and truthfulness all are binding  intentions in any kind of love affairs and strongly imprints the shades of real love on life .

Understanding that the ideal  love environment reflects a desire only and not a strict guideline to follow that can help others not only to meet some very interesting people, but perhaps allow them to grow as well. While the excitement and pleasure that is felt when submerged in a fantasy life may help to create an ideal for romance and attraction, but to achieve success in a real relationship one must be willing to surrender the fantasy and look for the truly amazing traits inside the real people all around them.

About Nazia
I am in search of facts and truth.

2 Responses to Difference of living with shadow of love and shade of love

  1. Kate Lumb says:

    Great post. Some good points you dicuss in there.

  2. Pingback: Is It Love or Dependency ? By Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D PHSYCHOLOGIST |

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