Amaan is no more in this world for my virtual protection!
March 28, 2011 11 Comments
Last week my mother passed away and I still can’t think of her without a single moment that she is no more in this world for me.My entire life was so far surrounded near to , my bed ridden mother and she had been an important part of my daily life. . During her long years of sickness ,I have no guilt to say that it was her sickness that becomes the real bonding force between mother and a daughter which was quite absent before when she had an extraordinary active and healthy social living.Her way of over-confident and independent living never allowed me to even serve her a glass of water But through her illness , God has permitted and some how developed the true sentiments of caring, attitude, loving behavior and real spirit of daughter-hood deep inside my lethargic conscious.Death may have ended my mother’s life, but it has not weakened my attached emotions with her as part of my virtual protection.She was and is still my source of inspiration, blessing and what ever like a lonely child can think in absence of her mother. She will always be my source of virtual motherly protection ,now peeping me though some invisible screen and praying all times for my good future. She will always be a part of me, and the relationship I have with her will go on forever.
Now that I am gone,
remember me with smiles and laughter.
And if you need to cry,
cry with your brother or sister
who walks in grief beside you.
And when you need me,
put your arms around anyone
and give to them what you need to give to me.
There are so many who need so much.
I want to leave you something —
something much better than words or sounds.
Look for me in the people I’ve known
or helped in some special way.
Let me live in your heart
as well as in your mind.
You can love me most
by letting your love reach out to our loved ones,
by embracing them and living in their love.
Love does not die, people do.
So, when all that’s left of me is love,
give me away as best you can.
~ Author unknown
Passing through this process of transition of ,terrible loss, recovery, restoration and renewal I am still behaving with childish attitude that why God has taken away my mother from my sight and my right as dutiful daughter?.
As with all emotions, feelings of grief are charged with energy,these are also charged the only way to cope with them for rest of life that now I am unprotected being who has no shelter of mother’s blessings.
Her loss from this selfish and materialistic world deserves a place of honor for her in heaven and I strongly pray to God to keep her departed soul under His protection because she had suffered by unbearable sickness and its long time period in this world under care of her weak love ones.I am waiting for little clue, a small certification from Almighty that she has attained a highest award of divine in His world that might bring calmness and peace in my lost and disturb sentiments for her.
Healing of soul after this great virtual and physical loss, would start happen when I would transform energy of emotions generated by grief, sorrow and confused thoughts towards some feelings that although she is no more here but her presence in my life would remain instinctual, unconditional and forever.