Joint family system,a frustrated living option
October 7, 2010 2 Comments
Joint family system is one of the popular styles of living in history of subcontinent culture and always been dramatized as one of excellent way of combined living among family members.Usually in this setup grandpa and grand ma are all in all leading the all family members under typical rules mostly limited to their personal experience.One kitchen policy is usually adopted regardless of demand of variety of human tastes and need.
Our media,literature usually creates an ideal scene of a joint family system as an indispensable and attractive living style which people should follow to enhance the importance of blood relations.Our movies dramas always focus on positive side of joint family system which is hardly found in any kind of real examples in our surroundings.
This joint family system is compulsively forced to next generation to secure expenditures, preserving control of parents on weak siblings and strong children. Such way of living prefers arranged marriages as an ultimate choice for new generation too in which choice of elders are imposed to comparatively more exposed generation .
No doubt Muslims of subcontinent followed this kind of family setup as inherent tradition and as it is linked with supremacy of male head of family so no religious scholar specifically targets such kind of frustrated living options from point of views of females living under the relation of wives, widows, unmarried sisters etc.
It is very surprising that serious abnormalities of joint family system like psychological disorders, weak marital relations, dictatorial attitude of elders affecting the individual minds, problems in upbringing of children due to multiple control on their developing attitude are always ignored in our religious schools of thoughts.
Some how this way of living produces wrong and sinful trends to its inhabitant specially to male members and such facts are ignored in our real stories. On the other hand the acute depressing attitude of women folk as compulsive active members of conservative joint system is also neglected by literary critics.
Adultery , child molestation through hands of elders, inclination of men toward prostitutes and red light area are prominent negative and forbidden attitudes which are commonly found in members of joint living system.
Female residents of joint family under superiority or inferiority complexes are mostly involved in black magic practices.They are all time followers of superstitious traditions up to level of mental disorders.They are extremely indulged in complicated and useless family politics depending on variety of human minds living in one boundary.
All such factors have strong effects on young minds growing under hypocritical and unethical attitude of elders and they jump into mature matters much early than their mental age which should be limited to their curricular and their age activities.
Here people shouldn’t confuse pattern of joint family systems with extended family system .Extended family system means we are bound to respect and care of our near and distant blood relations equivalent to our close relations like parents, siblings and kids.
It means uncle and aunts should be given due respect up to level of parents, nephew and nieces are part of responsibilities of uncle and aunts, or orphans and widows of family are considered as joint responsibility of nearby kins .
So our extended family setup has more beautiful dimensions as compared to conservative joint family system.Under extended family system we should enhance the new kind of setup like semi joint system where each family has its own kitchen and privacy while living in same boundary.Their elders should live near to them but in an independent unit so that couple and their kids can find individuality as per their abilities ,experiences and sources of their income.
The taking care of sick elders should be kept under care of financially strong kin and all other should share this responsibility as utmost priority of their lives.This is most simple way of teaching your child how to take care of you in your sickness and old ages.
Same as financially weak sibling should be accommodated by collective efforts of other family members and all should help him/her to groom like an independent being instead of behaving like all time liability for whole family.
Harmony and love relations remain lively and active when some limits and boundaries are drawn .All time exposure of habits and activity specially after marriage is root cause of creating difference among siblings who brought up under same roof.
Young couple should be encouraged to live separately at least for few years so that they would make equation with each other which is not possible if they pass life among many relations.Once they streamline their habits as responsible husband and wife, then it become easier for them to accommodate other relations too no matter how bitter and possessive they might be.
Spoiled boys and girls from elders are proved to be worst kind of husband and wife respectively so before trying this option be ready for all kind of disasters of married life.
So our blood relations are our assets and strong support in difficult time style but it all depends how you handle them.Elders should come forward to encourage semi joint family system to next generation.They should be guided to have independent setup under blessing and guidance of elders without forcing them to adopt orthodox living patterns.